there are four

Forrest, Nick,     me    , Colton, Brett

(L to R)

For some strange reason, when it comes to accompanying guys, I have only played piano for tenors. 
Maybe that means something, I don't know.  I guess tenors are just my forte. 
I do know though that the four tenors pictured above are awesome.  And I also know that with each of them I am part of four crazy good teams. 
Two are new, two are old.  Meaning two I have only recently started playing for and two I have been playing with for a while now.
But no matter.  They are all still MY tenors.
Yes, I am slightly possessive, maybe a tiny bit motherly, and totally proud of them. 
Each one is different with varying personalities, which makes my job even cooler.
I appreciate their willingness to work with me and contribute to the collaboration that is a pianist and singer.

Forrest:  Freshman.  Insanely light tenor voice.  Hilarious.  Caring.  Its only been about three weeks that we have been a team, but its a great working team.  I might have scared him in the beginning and he does think I am crazy, but I don't care.  I love that I can tell him to change something or learn something, and it is done.  He is a hard worker and is going to go far in music.  I will never forget the day he came in all excited because he could conduct and "dang, I look good doing it".  LOL
I am also thankful for his caring heart and for the many times he asks "Hannah, how are you?" and means it.  I am so excited for these next years as we grow as a team and friends. 

Nick:  Sophomore/Transfer.  Wonderfully ringing and rich tenor.  Sincere.  Determined. Humble.  It has been about three weeks of collaboration as well, but its awesome.  When this guy sings, its unreal.  He tries so hard... he is a perfectionist in a good way, but so humble.  I appreciate Nick's desire to get it right and understand it.  Consistency is key in music but yet so hard.  He knows that and is constantly working to keep that.  When he sings "Comfort you", I always feel peaceful, legitimately comforted.  Its so cool.  Another great thing about his singing is that he puts emotion into what he does.  He doesn't sing something without thinking about it, it comes from his heart.  I am also thankful for his sensitivity.  He always expresses his gratefulness, something which I don't take for granted.  It means a lot when someone says "thank you" from the heart.  I am thrilled to get to collaborate with a fellow music ed major! 

Colton: Junior.  Multi-faceted tenor.  Passionate.  Committed.  Trying to describe Colton is almost impossible.  He almost always bounces off the walls and is constantly making me smile.  Aside from being one of my tenors, he is also one of my best friends.  This kid never stops trying, is always pushing forward, and constantly looking for ways to improve.  His singing never ceases to amaze me, and even though I love hearing him sing classical, when he sings musical theater, I cry.  Every time.  His heart shines through in his singing.  There is a quote that describes us quite well: "You and I are more than friends.  We're like a really small gang."  That is in height and friendship.  ;)

Brett: Junior.  Rich, wide-ranged tenor.  Loyal.  Three years ago, Brett was my first tenor, I was his first accompanist.  From day one I was blown away by his voice (and the fact he could read music - he still likes to mention my shock when he sang the right notes, haha).  I still am.  After three years, we get each other so well.  I know his strengths, weaknesses and tendencies when singing and he knows what I will do in basically any situation.  A lot of things are unspoken now.  We just get it.  That is one of the beauties of accompanying people for a long time.  I have watched Brett grow from an uncertain, tentative, following freshman, to a strong, confident, well-rounded junior who leads.  I am thankful for his caring spirit, joy, and friendship.   A practice is not complete without a chat about life.  :)

In closing, I can't say enough about how much these guys mean to me.  Its people like them that make what I do so worthwhile. Working with them teaches me so much about music, people, teaching, learning, and collaboration.  But it also gives me some great friendships.  Their encouragement, sensitivity, and care to and for me is precious and priceless.  I am beyond blessed.

p.s. Post coming soon on my MEZZOS!!!!

As when you belong

I looked down the line of singers, faces barely lit by the faint glimmer of the candles held in their hands... the room dark, still, peaceful, waiting.
The air was heavy with expectancy as the audience waited to listen to our next song. 
The first notes of the altos floated throughout the room, filling every space, reaching every ear, touching every soul. 

Sometimes you have moments of an extreme sense of belonging, of knowing without a shadow of a doubt that you are in the right place.  This moment was one of them.  Hearing, participating, giving music together... oh, that is precious. 

Nothing quite compares to the beauty found in the unity of a choir.  In the joy of a choir.  In the energy, presence, and camaraderie. 

In that moment, I was filled with such joy and pride and sadness and longing and peace.... it hit me that one day, in the very near future, these moments would end.  The next season of life would begin, no more choir like that.  For a split second my heart sank in complete desperation to hang on tightly to every moment.  But then I realized, I have memories, and friendships, and experiences to remind me of the beauty of those moments.  Once finished, those moments still affect, still comfort, still energize. 

And so, I know that those moments remind me to cherish every rehearsal, concert, and choir member even more. 
Thank you Concert Choir for bringing beauty and joy to my life.  I have so much love for you.

"I'm holding on to Your promises"

Music.  It is one of my most favorite ways to worship Jesus.  Playing, singing, listening... it constantly reminds me of who He is.  Sometimes a song comes out that seems to be written to specifically encourage and challenge me. 
Chris Tomlin's new song "Whom Shall I Fear" has been one of those songs.  The words are life-giving reminders.  Every time I listen to it I am moved to tears by the immensity of God's love and faithfulness.  His promises are wonderful.  He is right there for me... right there for me!  Wow!  I am a victorious and loved saint... I have been blessed with weapons to fight, I have the greatest Leader with me.  This life is temporal.  But God and who He is... the vast, immeasurable, glory of His nature.... are eternal.  Thank you Jesus.

"You hear me when I call

You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light
Whom shall I fear?

You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though trouble linger still
Whom shall I fear?

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies is always by my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies is always by my side

My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I’m holding on to Your promises
You are faithful
You are faithful"

Chris Tomlin's "Whom Shall I Fear"

Soldiers... they fight

Desolate, bleak, lonely... these were the words that came to mind as the soldier looked at the scenery around her.
Dried blood matted with dirt streaked across her face, the results of a scuffle with the enemy a few days earlier. 
The soldier was well-equipped with weapons: a sword, knife, bow and arrows; had a muscular build for her small stature, and a determined look about her.  Despite the dirt and blood, youth and energy radiated from her face. 
Although she had been a soldier of the King for many years, it was only recently that she had begun to fight.  After many years of training, preparing, learning she had decided it was time.  Time to step out and fight the enemy.  She knew that there were certain things she could only learn on the battlefield, and avoiding the enemy would not be fulfilling the mission the King had called His soldiers to.
She had been assigned on a rural mission with just a couple other soldiers.  None of them had ever been on the battlefield, but despite this she was the most experienced.  They had been commanded to split up a few days ago and to just keep traveling and fight whatever enemy they encounted along the way. 
As she pondered the last fight, she shuddered at the thought of what was to come.  Two days ago she had been walking along a path in the woods, when she encountered one of the enemy sitting down eating.  Their scuffle had been quick, but painful.  The knife wounds still stung... the enemy was good.  But she was better, her training had been thorough.  The King personally trained each soldier, teaching them His tactics and secret tricks, growing their confidence, admiration and loyalty every day. 
She looked down at her arm, the deep gash was healing quickly.  The gash on her face not so much.  With a slight sigh, she began walking again, careful to not rustle the branches too much for fear the enemy would hear.  After a few hours of creeping along the mountain, she realized something.
Not allowing the enemy to see her was disobeying the King.  He had told her to go out and fight, hiding was giving the enemy victory. 
Slowly she stood up, a new light in her eyes, a slight flush creeping across her cheeks... she knew what she had to do. 
Calmly she walked forward and began to sing a song, a song about her King, about His love, mercy, wrath, beauty.  Her eyes were alert as she sang, watching for signs of the enemy that she knew were everywhere. 
Suddenly, the bushes began to rustle everywhere around here, on either side, in front and behind.  Terrified she stopped singing, her hand resting tensely on her sword. 
Then she saw them... they surrounded her.  More enemy that she had ever seen.
Fear began to creep into her mind, numbing her senses, her feet felt heavy.
She looked around for an escape route, but there was none.  Only one option, fight.  She would not die.  That was impossible.  The King had told her that whatever mission He sent her on, there was one sure thing: she would not die.  But He could not gaurantee that she wouldn't be hurt, in fact He said that it was very likely she would get hurt a lot and often her wounds would be serious. 
His words flashed across her memory "My soldier... I have trained you.  I have made you into the soldier you are today.  Without Me you would be able to do nothing.  Do not fear My dear soldier, I have trained you for a great purpose.  You will go out into enemy territory and fight for my honor.  Do not forget to call out for Me, because I will be there in spirit.  Let the enemy know my greatness and love. My soldier, I am proud of you, fight well.  Fight hard.  Fight honorably.  But FIGHT." 
She remembered the fire in His eyes when He said these words, she remembered the day many years ago when the King found her along the side of the road, a starved, broken child of the enemy.  She remembered His gentle touch, loving care, and life-giving words.
She would fight.  Not for herself.  But for her King.
With a flash of shining metal she whipped out her sword and dove for the closest enemy, a song on her lips, a compassionate fire in her eyes.  The next two hours were like hell... she fought long and hard.  The enemy kept coming, cunning in their tactics, ruthless in their attacks, and deadly.  There were moments she thought she would not make it, but the image of her King was constantly in the forefront of her mind.  And so she fought on, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that her King was watching, giving her strength, and protecting her. 

 "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12

Sometimes you just gotta have lunch

Wednesday.  It's always my full, crazy, busy day.  In general I am always stressed.  Yesterday was no different.  That morning I had gone through three classes feeling sick to my stomach because of how much I was thinking I needed to do.  Finally after choir I felt better... enough to get food.

As I walked to get food I grabbed my Bible and a Piper book... intent on still being "productive" while eating.  But planned out ideas hardly ever go your way.

I saw Jeremiah eating outside... put my stuff down, got food.  Sat down and started talking about God.  Five minutes later there three more people from choir and we were talking music.  For those first few minutes of talking I was stressed... I had to get away, I needed to practice, study.  I was wasting time.

But slowly I forgot about what I "needed" to do and became more engaged in making friends and just being alive.

An hour later the four of us parted ways... knowing each other better after having laughed, talked, and eaten for sixty minutes.  I walked away with a smile on my face and energy in my step.  I was reminded that... sometimes you just gotta have lunch.  Thanks Jeremiah, Collin, and Jordan.  Needed that lunch and people time... thanks for reminding me to live life and make new friends. :)

Happiest

"When you're able to confess Him as the Supreme Ruler overall things and to confess that He is your Lord and you are His possession, then at that point, you are the happiest of people. You could not get any happier.  Nothing could happen that could be so wonderful, that it could possibly be better than the happiness you have in the Lordship and the Supremacy of Jesus Christ."  ~Graham Cooke

So here it is

I have had so many people ask what I am taking this quarter that I thought I would just put it here.  Its not the schedule, just the classes.  :)

*Voice lessons
*Accompanying lessons
*Voice Master Class
*Accompanying Master Class
*Concert Choir
*Aural Skills 4
*Music Seminar: Opera History 1
*Conducting Practicum
*Hispanic Literature

Accompanying: 2 mezzo-sopranos, 2 tenors, 1 flautist - practice and their lessons

Preparing for: Conducting Concert Choir at the 2012 Invitational Choral Festival, Choir tour to Europe, accompany 1 mezzo-soprano's junior recital and 1 tenor's junior recital.

Also... choir director at church.

This quarter is seriously going to be one of the best ever!  So excited!!

Newest member

I am unbelievably overwhelmed and blessed to announce that I am now a member of WWU's Concert Choir.  To say that I am excited is an absolute understatement!  This news was rather unexpected, although very much hoped for.  Going on almost 5 weeks of bronchitis, my singing voice is definitely not 100%.  And so, auditioning for choir placements today felt like a shot in the dark.  My lungs are not at full capacity and my range and ability to transition are weak. 
But miraculously I made it.  God is so good.  He is good whether I got into Concert Choir or not.  I am praising Him for yet another huge musical opportunity and another avenue to share His love. 
Oh... the best part: for Spring Break... Concert Choir is touring (singing through) Italy and Croatia. 
Soooooo.... EUROPE HERE I COME!!

Of little brothers and such

At times God brings people into your life that hold a special place in your heart.  I love when a friendship is created that is just a little different.

Brady is one of those friends.  At 16 (almost 17!), he is basically the little brother I never had.  I had the privilege of interning alongside him for a month in Costa Rica.  From the moment I met him, I knew there was never going to be a dull moment with him around. 
For four weeks we ate, worked, worshiped, prayed, played, talked, laughed, and lived life in the same place.  Countless hours spent in conversation, both in English and Spanish!
I remember the evening we were sitting on our intern director's couch...fighting. Fighting the way siblings fight.  I said something, he shoved me with his foot, I spilled my coffee, I yelled, he yelled.... all while laughing.  Or the many times he ate my food... because he was always eating.  Or walking to Wal-Mart and then back in the rain. 
But there were serious times too... the time I helped him brainstorm for his devotional, or talks about his girlfriend and the future, or even theology.
Brady is crazy.  There is simply no way around that fact.  But, amongst the joking, laughing, and odd comments, he is pretty cool.  He has a sensitive heart and is always eager to learn.  He dreams big, loves big, and lives big.  You are guaranteed to be laughing and smiling within five minutes of being around him.
I am so very grateful that God allowed our paths to cross.  I love the brother-sister (and at times mother-son) relationship we have.  I am blessed by his energy, encouragement, and endless amounts of jokes.  Thanks to him I now love country music.  And thanks to him I now say really weird things at times.
I miss spending time with this goof, I miss laughing till I cry, I miss getting frustrated at what he thinks sometimes, and I miss talking about God.
Brady, I am excited for what God has for your future and how He is going to minister to people through you.  Keep your eyes focused on running this "race" of life to glorify Jesus.  So excited to hang out on the 30th!
Ciao mae!

Faithfulness in the midst of doubt

God's faithfulness is something so big, so perfect, so contrary to this world, and so beautiful that often I am blown away by it.  Humbled by it.  Encouraged by it. 

I am ashamed at how often I doubt, only to be undeservingly swept away with countless reminders that God is indeed there and is still radically working despite my sin and skewed motives.  Sometimes I get so frustrated at my lack of trust.  Somehow I think I need to do something about my situation, and so I go about frantically trying to "make things right", or at least attempting to make things right.  Ah!  Why can't I just strive to live my life for Jesus and do things to please Him all while simply trusting.  Easier said than done isn't it!

God's faithfulness....
Webster's defines faithful as "steadfast in affection or allegiance".  It is pretty amazing that even though we constantly sin and make poor choices God remains the same in His love, forgivness, strength, and peace.  Unconditionally loving, protecting, forgiving, chastising.  Its beautiful.

My worry about finances, relationships, school, and life is unbelief and a lack of trust.  I am so thankful though that God is constantly reminding me that He is always faithful.


"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:30-33 ESV)

Standing Alone with Jesus

There are times when I envision myself... small, tired, wounded and bleeding, scared... standing on a mountain top... alone.  There is a battle down below in the valley that I have just come from and ferocious animals hungrily roam the forest only inches from my feet.  The smells and sounds are horrid yet at times alluring in their mystery.  The darkness seems to almost penetrate my inmost being.  The weight of the darkness and my own fears press in, suffocating me... screaming for me to run.  Its cold.  My body aches in weariness.  I seem helpless, weaponless, completely and utterly spent.  Tears spill from my eyes as the pain of loneliness enters my soul.


Yet... there is a presence far bigger than the mountain, than the battle, than the intense darkness, than my deepest fears.  Jesus is with me. His presence calms the noises, practically blocking them out.  The darkness recedes back into the forest as a soft glow spreads... making my head lift with renewed energy.  Calmness, peace, joy and boldness come back.  The pain dissipates and my bloodied body parts become clean.  My loneliness vanishes.  My hand goes to my forgotten sword... as if remembering the battle at hand.
 

I look at my Jesus... He nods...this is a nod of "keep going, I am with you, this is My plan, do not doubt My perfection, fight the good fight, know that I will be right by your side at all times, and remember that My grace is sufficient for you".  Love radiates out from His eyes.  An adoring smile graces His beautiful face.  With gentle but firm hands He places me back on the path... back to the battle... back to pain, hurt, trials, and unknown challenges.  He is right there... I sense His presence surrounding me... and I am reminded that this is not the first time He has had to remind me.  Nor will it be the last.  I shake my head, ashamed that I had once again run in fear, once again felt alone, once again doubted.  I must have stopped moving as I thought about all this because I again feel a gentle tap on my shoulder.  I look up into the eyes of my Savior.  He shakes His head and points ahead... graciously letting me know that I am once again forgiven.  Instead of fearing the animals and hidden enemies, I bound back to the scene of the battle... knowing that my God is big enough, strong enough, and perfect enough to place all my trust in.  My life is His.
To God be all the glory.

God's Testimony - my story of God

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith” Philippians 3:8-9

My life? Perfection, a checklist, everything lined up just so. But that was only on the outside. On the inside I was miserable, scared, a searching wreck who was…lost.

This is not my story, rather it is God’s story and how He has worked and is working in me.

I grew up in a Christian home with Christian parents, surrounded by Christian friends, and attended a solid Christian church. I went to Sunday school and knew all the Sunday school answers, took notes on the sermons in church, read Christian biographies, went on missions trips, went to a missionary kids school for year, and my life lined up according to the perfect checklist I had made of what a Christian should look like. I had “religion” down perfectly. I prayed “the prayer” when I was 3 and that was it. It had to be it. I had to be saved. But I was a living and breathing façade of what a Christian truly is. I desired to live in my sin and look saved more than I desired to be in a relationship with Jesus. My heart was dirty and I only desired to live for myself. The reality was, I was going to hell and I knew it.

For years, every night as I would fall asleep I would ask God to “save me” just in case I wasn’t saved, that way if I died in my sleep I wouldn’t go to hell. God was my ticket out of hell and misery… and my way of looking good so that everyone around me thought I was great. As the years wore on, the panic every night only increased as I continued to live a lie.

Finally, one night right before my 13th birthday I could bear the misery no more. God had brought me to my knees and completely turned my world upside down. It was a night of intense spiritual battling. For hours I cried with my mom and lamented that I wasn’t saved, yet I really couldn’t fully admit that because it hurt my pride to say I had lived a fake 10 year relationship with God. My pride was holding me back, but Jesus was and is stronger than pride.

Morning was fast approaching when Jesus broke through my disgusting walls of pride and self-love and I surrendered my life, will, future, and being to His lordship. Crazy peace washed over me. Joy entered my life. I was now a child of God and I wanted to do His will. I feared death no longer and life had purpose!

This is not the end of God’s story in my life, because He is always moving, growing, loving, and rebuking. He saved me at age 13 and called me His child and gave me eternal life, but my world continued to be rocked in many ways….

The next year I entered high school and my new obsession became grades. I had never done any real sports, so I decided to counter that with school, and so my grades became my identity. I lived, breathed and dreamed school. Pathetic? Yes! A couple years later I started Running Start at Whatcom, continuing on with an identity being found in my GPA. After a year of a one-track mindset I received my first “bad” grade. Sadly, it devastated me. Although my identity was shattered, God’s hand was in all of this though and His plan was truly perfect as He began breaking me of my sinful and purposeless identities.

I graduated high school and prepared for Western and as I picked up the pieces of my life a new identity rose to the surface. At the time, I liked this one boy and from what I could see, he liked me. My life had started to evolve around him and doing things to please him and make him like me. He had become my idol and my new identity. Then one day he said he wanted to date me and that I was perfect, the next he told me he couldn’t because he didn’t like how I looked, and the third day he said he never want to date me. My life and identity crumbled once again. Who was I? Was I loved? Was God there? I began questioning God’s perfection and plan for my life. I dared to wonder if God had made a mistake. As Bill Clem says in his book Disciple, “The minute you try to manage God, juggling Him with anything else as a priority, you have ceased to recognize His weightiness and His excellence.” I had ceased to see how big my God was because my priorities had become twisted – putting man as most important and Jesus as less than. I had placed my identity in someone else, and they had failed me.

I started Western as a music student, and was once again surrounded by the world telling me who I was and who I had to be. My environment wanted me to think only of myself, to rise to the top, to compete and to win. God says: “live for Me, do all things for Me, tell other about Me, be humble, and be in the world and not of it”. Those two ways of life are complete opposites of one another and were vying for my life. Once again God wasn’t and isn’t finished with me.

During the past few years at Western I have had a constant struggle between placing my identity in Jesus and who I am because of the cross and salvation, and placing my identity in who I am as a musician, as a student and how much I can do and be involved in. I have struggled with living merely a religion versus living Jesus and His Gospel. Because I am a child of God, He does not love me more or less because of what I do. But because of this great and unimaginable love full of grace, mercy, forgiveness, and conviction of sin, I should be motivated to live a life that glorifies my Savior and that is a vibrant testimony of His greatness. God has gently (and not so gently at times) showed the many things or people that I want to place my identity in instead of Him. It has often taken failure, injury, great pain, and confusion for me to be reminded of this, the end result is always worth it though.

This past year, God has been teaching me to beauty of His Gospel and its power to change lives. He has shown me the importance of authentic Christian community and how fellow brother and sisters can encourage, comfort, and point out sin. He is giving me a greater desire for His Word and boldness to proclaim who He is to people around me. I have learned even more that being a Christian is only the result of God’s grace and His sacrifice for me on the cross. He died and paid the penalty of my sin, of your sin, of the whole world, so that that we could spend eternity with Him. Belonging to Him is so much more than eternal life: it means purpose because you live to bring Him glory, it means joy because you belong to Him, it means forgiveness because He forgave you, it means hatred of sin because He is perfect, it means love because He first loved us, it means boldness to tell others about Him because you cannot keep what He has done inside. I know He is not finished with me though and I look forward to what is to come. Just as gold is not purified until it has been through extreme heat, I also must go through trials and pain, happiness and joy so that I may constantly be reminded of who God is. Romans 7:18 says: “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.”

The prayer for my life and for my fellow brothers and sisters is best summed up in Hebrews 12 and Acts 20: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.”, “But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”

To God be the glory.