There are times when I envision myself... small, tired, wounded and bleeding, scared... standing on a mountain top... alone. There is a battle down below in the valley that I have just come from and ferocious animals hungrily roam the forest only inches from my feet. The smells and sounds are horrid yet at times alluring in their mystery. The darkness seems to almost penetrate my inmost being. The weight of the darkness and my own fears press in, suffocating me... screaming for me to run. Its cold. My body aches in weariness. I seem helpless, weaponless, completely and utterly spent. Tears spill from my eyes as the pain of loneliness enters my soul.
Yet... there is a presence far bigger than the mountain, than the battle, than the intense darkness, than my deepest fears. Jesus is with me. His presence calms the noises, practically blocking them out. The darkness recedes back into the forest as a soft glow spreads... making my head lift with renewed energy. Calmness, peace, joy and boldness come back. The pain dissipates and my bloodied body parts become clean. My loneliness vanishes. My hand goes to my forgotten sword... as if remembering the battle at hand.
I look at my Jesus... He nods...this is a nod of "keep going, I am with you, this is My plan, do not doubt My perfection, fight the good fight, know that I will be right by your side at all times, and remember that My grace is sufficient for you". Love radiates out from His eyes. An adoring smile graces His beautiful face. With gentle but firm hands He places me back on the path... back to the battle... back to pain, hurt, trials, and unknown challenges. He is right there... I sense His presence surrounding me... and I am reminded that this is not the first time He has had to remind me. Nor will it be the last. I shake my head, ashamed that I had once again run in fear, once again felt alone, once again doubted. I must have stopped moving as I thought about all this because I again feel a gentle tap on my shoulder. I look up into the eyes of my Savior. He shakes His head and points ahead... graciously letting me know that I am once again forgiven. Instead of fearing the animals and hidden enemies, I bound back to the scene of the battle... knowing that my God is big enough, strong enough, and perfect enough to place all my trust in. My life is His.
To God be all the glory.
