I am here

The past couple weeks have been hard.
My heart has felt bombarded by sadness, loneliness, and desperation.
My times with Jesus have been hard to come by, in the midst of midterms and life.

Last week as I was singing in choir, the Lord spoke to me.
Out of seemingly nowhere.  But maybe if I had been listening better before that I might have heard Him.
But this day, God was graciously louder in my life.
It had been a long week, my joy was being sucked away from every direction.  I felt like I was failing and falling and not sure anymore.

And it was in that moment, as I was singing... that His voice came and said "I am here.  I am present in this room.  I am here with you.  I am honored by your heart and love for me."
That was it.  Those words.  Exactly.
I am not making it up.  I couldn't come up with those words in that time.  No way.  Only God could.
That was one of the biggest encouragements.
Maybe you doubt that was really God.
But when you hear His voice, its like... WOW.  On your knees in awe and worship.  In that moment I would have been on my knees in a second if I could have... the presence of God was so strong.  I am still overwhelmed and grateful.
So trust me.  It was Him.  I am grateful for Him speaking loudly, graciously, and so lovingly into my heart that was struggling between the world trying to drown out His voice and a desire to live intimately with Him.

Those precious moments of His voice, speak volumes to me of His faithfulness.

Psalm 36:5

"Your steadfast love, O Lord, extends to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the clouds."

University student...

Wednesday morning I embarked upon an adventure of great magnitude.

With knots in my stomach and slightly shaky hands I drove to the university. Getting off the freeway exit I glanced around me at the cars and saw that most of them had the university parking pass stuck in their window. We were all beginning this journey together...at the same time.

I pulled into the parking lot and gulped at the sea of cars already present at 7:40 in the morning. I slipped out of my car and prepared to put my backpack on only to hear my name called. Shocked I whirled around and saw two of my friends: Bailey and Adam. Seeing them made breathe slightly easier.

As I started the long walk across campus my breath came in short gasps. Nerves were taking over and I sounded like an out of breath and out of shape person. How embarrassing!

Finally I reached my building...out of breath, sweat running down my face, and most likely a look of sheer panic written across my face.

The rest of the day was rather a blur. A fun blur for sure!! I must say that I just love my classes and my professors!

Do know how awesome it is to be in class with 40 other musicians!?! Its simply marvelous! When the teacher makes a joke about a chord, we ALL get it and think it is just the funniest thing!

My new instrument is the saxophone... I think it should be called the instrument-that-makes-your-mouth-hurt-and-where-you-see-stars. It makes quite the awfullest toots and snorts and I am endeavoring to get clear, long and steady sounds out of it instead of mooing warbles. You can now find me (at any point in the day) standing doing conducting exercises or talking in Spanish.

Welcome to the life of a music ed major (and Spanish too!!)!!

And what a wonderfully crazy life it is!