The Winding Path Up and Out

For some reason, my brain organizes life in sections of time... this many weeks until this event, or this many months since that event.  Almost like milestones or something.  Maybe that is messed up, I don't know. 
Wednesday marks two months since I boarded an airplane in London, returning back to the USA after almost four wonderful months spent in the north of England.  Two months!  Where has the time gone?! 
Since coming back home, I have had a massive amount of time to think and reflect.  It has been a hard road filled with some deep depression and true soul searching.  I'm ever so thankful for the continual faithfulness and patience of the Lord.  I would love to tell you that I bounced back from living a somewhat fairytale life, but that wouldn't be true.  It has been a struggle.  Some days have felt as though I am army crawling up a steep hill, inch by painful inch.  Some days I am up and walking.  It has been a weary journey. 
A couple years ago, I would have guiltily hidden my struggles.  I had this notion that if I appeared weak no one would want to be around be and they would think less of me.  It was only through the advice of trusted friends and family and working of the Lord in my heart, that I realized there was no shame in depression.  That in itself was freeing.  It kinda shoves you to the ground in the realization that there is no way you can do life successfully without God.
So when I once again found myself in a valley, I was not ashamed or fearful.  It was more like an 'oh darn' moment.  I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord would bring me through it, and that there was a reason that I was in this place.  Still, it has been a tough couple months. 
In England, I had a brand new life.  Every day was essentially a new adventure, filled with new people, scenery, experiences, and lessons.  For my personality, that is like pure happiness.  I love new things and might secretly or not so secretly enjoy the unknown.  That is who I am!  The adventure of life holds so much exciting mystery and I love discovering it. 
I had a new church, with a new community and group of friends.  Starting over with that part of life was challenging, but rewarding and filled with inspiring and phenomenal people.  There was a new city, filled with culture, history, streets, and people that I had absolutely no idea about.  And of course, a school. Up until this point, I had never taught full-time... just part-time.  Before England, I wondered if I was truly cut out to teach full-time.  In about a week I realized, that yes, I was cut out for it.  In fact, this was part of my main calling in life. 
I remember the first week I started teaching.  So many nerves!  I was a bit unsure, and confidence wasn't particularly present.  Would I be able to communicate clearly to my students?  Would they think I was dumb?  Would they like music?  Would they learn what they were supposed to?
By the end of the week though, my confidence had grown in leaps and bounds, and I realized that it didn't matter so much what the students thought of me.  What really mattered was that they learned, and somehow found joy in learning.
Most importantly though I was hit in the face by one thing.  These students were human beings.  Now, that sounds a bit silly, but I realized how important consciously recognizing their humanity was.  It opened my eyes to see my students as more than just warm bodies in desks and more than just a way to realize music.  These people had dreams and talents, fears and humor, curiosity, hurt, intelligence, and joy.  It actually overwhelmed me.  Teaching now went beyond the academic subject of music.  It was about life and connecting learning to the heart and mind of each student.  Gosh!  I could teach the 'perfect' lesson, hitting every major point and including advanced teaching technique, but unless it connected with my students, it was an absolutely pointless endeavor. 
I could go on and on about this.  For hours in fact.  Suffice to say, that as I began to incorporate this into my teaching, the responses of my students stunned me.  Sure, some of my lessons sucked.  There is no way around it.  I majorly failed at times.  But my students graciously carried on.  Their patience and support was humbling.  I was astounded by their intelligence, and moved by their love.  To the very end they gave me countless opportunities to confidently experiment in my teaching.  When something went well, they made sure I knew it 100%. 
I realized that my favorite teachers were the ones that connected to me, cared about me, and challenged me.  They expected excellence from me.  An excellence that I didn't always think I was capable of, yet their unwavering faith in me encouraged and pushed me to achieve exactly what I thought was impossible.  I tried to teach that way.  Maybe sometimes I praised too much.  Maybe sometimes we had too much 'fun' in class and not enough 'focus'.  Good gracious, there were many things I wouldn't do the same.  But I do know this... I would always repeat the encouraging, challenging, and connecting times with my students.
The love I felt upon leaving, and have continued to feel since then has broken me time and again.  In a good way though.  The notes received and the messages still being sent never fail to bring me to tears.  How I was blessed to student teach at a school with such beautiful people, I will never understand.  But I am grateful.  Eternally grateful that the Lord placed me in a place where I was able to learn, mature, laugh and cry.  The last two months have shown me that and given me time to reflect with great awe upon the many blessings that the four months in England held.  I have finally begun to move forward.  Moving forward does not mean you forget the past.  Instead, it means going forward in life, having been changed by the past and keeping those memories alive. 
As overly dramatic as it sounds, my students changed my life.  The imprint they have left on my heart and teaching is incredible.  Without them, I would not be who I am today.  I miss them so much it hurts.  The fact that I may never see them again drives me crazy.  But I'm grateful.  It came to me that in my efforts to believe in them, support them, challenge and inspire them, it actually often had the reverse effect in that they ended up doing that to me.  I left them and live on today being inspired because of them.  It boggles my mind.  These kids continue to believe in me, celebrating my successes, hoping for an exciting future, lovingly encouraging me to keep on.  That is love.  Funny how life works. 
This depression fog is lifting.  God is bringing peace despite the unknown future.  And my kids... oh these wonderful people... they are making sure that I know that they believe in me.  So, I'm up and walking again on this road called life.  Purpose and joy are returning.  And I have a smile, that comes from a changed and renewed heart.  Come at me life!

When God says... wait

June 30th....
Last day of June, almost July, partway through summer, a friend's birthday.

June 30, 2012
June 30, 2013

For the last two years, June 30th was a day of excitement and nerves.  In the afternoon I would roll a suitcase out of the house, kiss my sister goodbye, and get in the car for a drive to the airport.  I would walk onto an airplane bound for Costa Rica - a place near and dear to my heart.  Each summer spent in this beautiful country only made me fall in love with it more.
As a seven year old little girl, I remember thinking of Costa Rica as home.  Going back the last couple years has only deepened that feeling.  Don't get me wrong, I love my home and community in Washington, but Costa Rica is something else. I can barely describe it.  My heart longs to be there... living, serving, crying, laughing... just being.
Last night, I sat on my bed and cried.  Cried for happiness at the memories, cried because I was not there, cried for joy at what God is doing in that country, and cried just because God has said... wait.
I don't know for sure if I will go back permanently, but I hope.  It might be one of those things that God says no to, but it also might be something He says yes to.  Who knows!  I have to be ok with either answer.  I know He knows the desires of my heart, and I pray that no matter I will follow after Him.
Waiting is hard.  It kinda hurts... a lot sometimes.  Especially when you want something so bad.  But that is part of the adventure!!

June 30, 2014
I sit here... in the USA... thankful, trusting, wishing.  My heart is full, hurts a bit, yet rejoices that my God is bigger than anything life can bring.

Overdue in the New Year

So I haven't written in ages.
But I have an excuse.... life.
Its amazing how much can happen over the span of 3 weeks.
I have to sit back and marvel because in a way it seems like its been months (when its really been weeks) and then it seems like yesterday. I guess thats how life works. Frankly I don't always understand life. Actually maybe its more like I very rarely understand it.
Its hard to know where to begin, what event or idea do you name? What takes precedence over all others? Is it even worth naming? What has impacted me the most?
Well... I suppose I should write the short story, because if you know me at all, then you know the long story will be *long*.

December 18 - two of my best friends married each other. To say this was a momentous time in my life is an understatement. I have never had such mixed emotions before. My smile couldn't get any bigger when they became man and wife, and yet I pretty much bawled my eyes the next day. Ah life. They were beautiful, still are beautiful, and are just the cutest married couple ever.

December 25th - the first Christmas without Grandpa. I read a letter I wrote to him at our family gathering. God is good. But I still miss Grandpa a lot.

December 28th - the wedding party minus the bride and groom comes over to my house. It was a night filled with fun, laughter, pizza, root beer, movies, and seriousness. Great friends!

December 31 - Watched movies to welcome the New Year. Barely made it to midnight and then went to sleep before my parents.

And now... its 2011. That kinda leaves me speechless. I'm pretty sure this year is going to be unbelievably awesome. Its been in existence for 8 days, yet so far its pretty cool.

My favorites so far... in absolutely no particular order...
* Fun long talk with Emily S. at a New Years Party - thanks for hanging out with me
* Holding Annalynne D. for the first time and admiring her perfection - what a beautiful family!
* Starting my 11th quarter of college... thats just wrong
* Going to a boy's high school basketball game with 5 of my all-time favorite ladies -Go Storm
* Watching the old Star Trek with my sister - space
* Being completely disorganized the night before school started and not caring - why not?
* Realizing the sin in judging and the value of having a good quality friend - thanks Braden Z.
* Letting my fingers fly during music at Grace - I love music!
* Late night talk with Kelsey S. about everything pertaining to singleness - boyfriends at the same time Kels!
* God showing me sin and giving me grace - I am so unworthy
* Seeing Emily A. for the first time in months - How I miss that girl!
* Games with old friends - its amazing how many fantastic friends I have!
* TobyMac - such good music
* Bach and Lizst - the thorns in my side
* Going to bed before 10pm on a school night - history was made

In short... my year, short though it has been, has been packed full of blessing already!
Thank you Lord! Happy New Year!

Slightly sentimental

Today is July 31st... in one week I will be 20.
20 sounds old. It truly isn't but it just feels like its going to be old.
No more "teen" at the end of my name.
In one year my driver's license turns around. In 10 years I will be 30.
In one year I can legally drink (although I won't...lol).
10 years ago, I was 10.
My friends are getting married right and left.
My lil sis is getting her driver's license.
I am going into my 4th year of college.
I must be old. ;)
No, really 20 is merely one step closer to heaven. Thats the coolest thought! Wow!
But, my prayer for 20 is that it will be a year that my light for Jesus shines even brighter and I pray that people around me will see the love and salvation of Christ!
Yay for being 20 in one week!

Pain, Numbers, and Black Belts

This past weekend, my sister and I set off on an adventure of unknown proportions which delt with areas of life which were at that time unmapped. We came out of the experience with a large quantity of learned material, a renewed energy, sore bodies, and pages of notes. What was this experience that I speak so highly of? Well, how about I give you the long-ish version of that! ;)

On Friday morning, I woke up at the rather indecent hour of 4:30am and pulled on some clothes, grabbed a half-filled backpack and headed out the door. At 6:30am, a 15-passenger van pulled away from the karate school, filled with people headed for an instructor training conference approximately 5 hours south.

Now, I have to admit that I was rather dreading this long trip because truthfully I can tend to get rather grumpy on trips longer than 15 minutes. And so in my mind, how could a 5 hour trip be fun when there are 8 people in a van and you sit for that long?! Well, I was proven quite wrong... something of which I am happy for. The trip down turned into a laughter-filled, cookie happy, and hot drive, complete with martial arts fights along the way.
On a side note, no long-distance trip is complete without cell phones, texting, and many uses of cell phone cameras. Here are some pictures which prove my point as well as show that I myself and one of those "cell phone users".

Upon arrive at our destination, we all piled out of the car, and completed a quick tour of the martial arts school before we had a bite to eat.

The first seminar got off to a rather late start, but we all still got our mental and physical workouts for the day. Half of our group went to the marketing seminar and the other half went to the grappling and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu seminar. I went to the marketing and at times felt like I did way back in pre-calc class... lost and desperately trying to keep up.

But as time wore on, I became used to the jargon and my notes were no longer merely writing down what the speaker said, but rather writing down the key points the speaker said, because I was beginning to understand what was key and what wasn't. We learned all about how to advertise and market and the difference between the two and how to better our schools and increase attendance. The seminar wrapped up with a speaker who shared numbers. I got lost from about minute 1 and never regained my footing, although I tried desperately. Let's just say I was a good actress at that point, pretending to look and puzzle over rows of meaningless numbers.

After the seminar we proceeded back to the hotel where we dropped off our things and then went for a walk to the nearby park where things just got better. It was now around 5pm and the day had been sweltering. We had all been having a blast, but the heat was rather oppressive. And so all of us partook in big snow cones, decked in gorgeous rainbow colors and gently situated in adorable plastic bowls. Then we had a good look around the park with its beautiful flowers, old buildings, and unique set up.

And yes, we even discovered the hidden talent of Eli, who can beat any models pose in his grace and charming nature! ;)

Half of our group went back to the school to watch a mass intro.

Mass intros are where a large group of people come for a first-time class and get trained for about 45 minutes and then the owners try to sign people up. It was a great experience and we all learned a lot.

By the time we got back to the hotel, it was 8pm, and to say we were all hungry was an understatement. And so, we all headed off on foot to find seafood. We settled upon a restaurant and more priceless memories ensued.

For me, the cool part was being able to look across the river and see Oregon. And no, we never crossed the state line, although I wanted too!

After a wonderful meal, we ventured back to the hotel, practiced stick fighting, swam, and then played games and talked. For young people, I believe it is quite impressive that we quit our activies and went to sleep before midnight!

The next morning dawned beautiful and after a hearty breakfast complete with pancakes that came fresh out of a machine... we packed up the van and headed out. But I am rushing my story. These follow pictures only begin to touch on the vast array of personality, sense of humor, and memories over the weekend.

This is love... amongst boys. :)

And this my friends is a 12 year old who is exhausted because he only had 6 1/2 hours. Poor kid, he doesn't know whats coming to him!

These are awesome people and our most awesome instructor (man next to Melissa).

And these two pictures show the humor and toughness of some great people! Don't mind Gary's smile... he is tougher than you think! Never mess with these people!

Back to my story... Day 2 was great. Day 2 hurt. Day 2 was my most miserable and sweaty day ever. Day 2 almost killed me.

Day 2 I participated in the physical training portion. What I thought would be good to learn proved exactly that, but in no way that I expected. After 5 minutes of training I began to wonder if I was nuts, and after 10 minutes I began to wonder it everyone was nuts. By 15 minutes, my only thought was trying to do what was being asked. And so the next hour passed! By the end, I was literally soaked with sweat. The mats beneath me were wet. There was not a dry person on the mat (and there were 55 people). I no longer felt a difference between the room full of black belts and myself. We all hurt, were sweaty, and realized there were tons of things we needed to do for our fitness level and that of our students.

After a short lunch break, we commenced more of the same. A total of 4 hours of constant sweat, burning muscles, and a yelling voice, contributed to the hardest and most rewarding of physical "boot camps".

Even now my ribs hurt from the push-ups and random exercises we did.

Around 5:30 we began the long trek home along with 3 additional passengers. That trip was much different that the trip down, but it still had its memories.

Like this one:

Melissa fell asleep, and then moved onto Jason's shoulder without realizing it. Poor guy. A sore shoulder for him and 45 minutes later, she woke up... rather mortified and tired.

And long rides do something to you... so I took pics. Here is a familiar sight...

And here is Mt. Rainer!

And even through the soreness I could not resist a picture of the cute owl at the mall!

What a trip! What memories! What pain!

But what great friends to do it with! You have never felt safer, than when you travel with a van full of black belts!

Is HE enough?

Is God enough?
No, is He truly enough?
Is He truly enough for each one of us?

These are questions we need to ask ourselves. The questions are not meant to question God's authourity and wisdom, but rather they are meant to question our finite, human, and weak hearts. It constantly humbles me to see how I think that myself and what I do is enough, and then... BOOM! I stumble and fall flat on my face, only to see once again my desperate need to believe, know, and live the fact that God is enough.

Time after time, just when I think I have the idea of "God is enough" learned, I fall. But God is so good! I praise Him that He never wearies in bringing me right back to Him. I feel like a foolish little kid who keeps trying to dart away... forgetting that they are wearing one of those little harnesses that their parents have control of. Ah, how simple and foolish we can be.

I so desperately want to be able to just hand over control of my life and desires to God and then just sit back and let life happen. But that is not how God designed life and being a Christian to work. We struggle... struggle hard, and there are definitely battles to fight. How can we be refined if we are never heated to extreme levels and if we are never tested?

It seems like lately, God has been showing me this "false" dependence on Him. I think that I KNOW, but I don't know. What a idiot I can be! I mean seriously! Like I think I know what I am doing with life... wow! Earth to Hannah! *slaps head* Each time, I say to myself "ok, so now that this has happen you need to not do stuff like this again". But do I listen?? Gracious no!!

I guess what I am trying to say is that God's grace, faithfulness, patience, and forgiveness are so huge and big and wonderful. I feel so inadequate and unworthy of this, and yet at the same time I feel so very blessed and encouraged. God still loves me, He wants the best for me (Not always MY best for me), but most of all He wants me to shine so very brightly for Him. I must live for Him, and Him alone. And if I live this way... He WILL be enough for me and I will need no other earthly thing or person to fill me up and make me happy and content. What a blessed thought!!

May I present the graduated class of 2009!! Part 2

With light steps and a glint in my eye I made my way out the door following the people in front of me. We walked out of the main building and then stopped. Minutes passed... those minutes felt like hours. Then we started moving again, my heart started to speed up. Slowly we wound our way up to the gym where graduation would be. Once again we stopped, this time just in front of the double doors.
I looked around behind me. Two long rows of black stood directly behind me and then behind them were two more rows of students. Those two lines of students stretched as far as I could see. The breeze was gently blowing and gowns gently swayed in it and tassels bobbed. A slight hum came from that mass of students. Hands waved to me and I recognized some of my friends... I smiled. This was good... life was so very good.
We started moving again, but once again we didn't make it very far. This time though, we were inside the building. The loud sound of a big crowd came from the gym doors. People were running in and out trying to get to seats. The VP turned and smiled and me and offered words of encouragement. My knees began to tremble slightly but then I remembered that I was doing all of this for the Lord and the only reason I was here was because of HIM. All became quiet but only for a moment. Suddenly the strains of "Pomp and Circumstance" began to play. It was soft for a few moments, but then it grew gradually louder as the seconds passed.

I looked up with a smile on my face and saw that the people in front of me were moving. Graduation had now officially started!!

With a light step I began to walk. As I walked in through those double doors my heart lept with joy and emotion. The music was strong and powerful. The gym was full of people everywhere. They were all standing and smiling and clapping and it was all too wonderful to take in. How do I describe that moment? As I walked down the aisle between hundreds of standing people I thanked the Lord for bringing me to that point.

The small group of us walked up on stage and for the first time I looked around me. The faculty in their marvelous outfits were walking down the aisle and filing up against the stage. Then I saw them. My dear sweet friends from church, the ones who had been there for me for so long. They were amazing, they were such a blessing, and I can't tell you how much they mean to me. They were in the front of the line of students. Those moments of watching them were some of the most precious to me. I felt so proud of them!! I marveled at all that each one of them had gone through to be there that day. God had been so good to them! I loved watching their faces as for a brief moment a look of awe crossed each of their faces. I grinned as I saw them start to smile and then break into the biggest grins you have ever seen. They looked so awesome and at that moment I don't think life could have gotten any better. I had goosebumps as I realized once again and more fully, that now we were really graduating.

I clapped until all the students had been ushered into their rows of chairs. Then the faculty were seated. Finally we were told to sit down. Much of the first part of the ceremony was a blur to me. I do remember the president speaking and making the students who were in RS, honor's program, honor's society, etc stand. That was fun! Then the choir sang and I felt butterflies gathering again.

After the choir was done, the VP stood up and introduced. I felt so very honored. I heard those words "please join me in welcoming Hannah G__" and then applause. I rose from my chair breathless and happy. Now was the time, no, not to shine for myself. It was the time to shine for Jesus. My prayer was that somehow this speech would touch lives. I walked up to the podium, the applause stopped. I opened my notes and adjusted the mike. Then I began to speak...
"Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "Watch your thoughts they become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits become character, and YOUR character become your destiny. I firmly believe that character is one of the most important priorities in life."
..........................................
I finished with "because the measure of success in life is NOT its duration but its donation. Congratulations to all of the graduates here today! Thank you!"
At my last words I smiled as big as possible and looked down at my friends. Applause broke out and I was finished. I went back to my chair as happy as a clam. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength.

Then, one of the best parts of the night happened. The graduates were individually presented. Each one handed a card with their name on it to one of the VP and he would read it along with what they were graduation with into the mike. As he was doing that each graduate stood in front of flags and had their picture taken. Once that was done, they made their way on stage and were handed a diploma from the president. They paused there so that they could get their picture with the president and then they progressed down the line of the board of trustees shaking hands with each one. I was blessed with the privilege of being in that line to congratulate the graduates.

Congratulating my friends was by far the best part of that section. As I hugged (I could shake hands with my friends!!!) each one of them I praised God for the great friends I had in them. Wow! We had done it! The graduates kept coming, many of them congratulated me as well and thanked me for my speech. I pray that they were able to take something from it.

My feet began to hurt but it didn't matter. The rows of students kept coming though. Finally the last row got up. As it neared it's end I quietly walked off stage and stood behind the last person. I would be the last to graduate. Finally, it was my turn. I handed my card to Ron and stood in front of the flags. Screams echoed after my name was announced. I was so happy that I thought I would burst. I received my diploma and stood with the president for my picture and then finished by shaking hands with the trustees. Then we all sat down.
More of a blur... the graduates were presented as a whole. We moved our tassels to the left side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then the graduated class of 2009 was officially presented!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The ceremony was over. Those of us on stage started the recessional and the music once again played. I was content, life was amazing, God had been good. Joyfully I made my way down stage and down the aisle. This time I walked the aisle as a graduate!!

We made our way out of the gym and the faculty and myself formed two lines. While we clapped the graduated students made their way through the tunnel we had formed. The only downside to all this was that it began to rain. I didn't care though...
Then I saw my friends... but where was my family? I turned and started talking and....
(to be continued on pt. 3)

May I present the graduated class of 2009!! Part 1

Friday dawned cold and misty. I rolled out of my sleeping bag around 9:20 with groggy eyes and a smile. TODAY was the day. Not just any ordinary Friday, but the Friday in which my friends and I would graduate from college. See why I was smiling??? :)

Every 20 minutes or so, Shelby and I would turn to each other grinning while we said something like "This is it Shelby, today is the day... we graduate (this said in a rather screeching high pitch tone of excitement)".

At 11:30 am I arrived at the school for rehearsal. God gave me the privilege of being the commencement speaker and so I had to practice with the mikes and the other people speaking. I waltzed into the gym and stopped short, speechless. Yes, I had seen graduation last year, but for some reason I struck like it was the first time seeing everything before me. All the bleachers were folded out, the whole floor of the gym was covered in chairs and some had ribbon on them, and the stage had been put up with trees and a table with diplomas, and there in the center was the podium. My heart leaped and I could barely contain my excitement. The dream of graduating was finally coming true. I was walked over to the sound guys and given instructions from them.

Then... I walked up the middle aisle of chairs, up the stair to the stage and stood in front of the podium. The mike was turned on and I began to speak. The echos of my voice filled the room...it was weird. The sound guy came up and fixed where the mike was and I began again, this time with confidence and joy. It made a difference. I went through the speech one last time and just as I was finishing the Vice President for Instruction and other speakers walked in. We all had a small meeting and were each giving a overview script which outlined what would go on that night.

They all introduced themselves to me and many of them practiced my last name (its a hard name for those of you who don't know it...lol). Then the president of the college came in and we talked briefly before she too was given a lesson by a staff member on pronouncing my name. Hahaha..

I ran to another building and made copies of my speech and before I returned I stopped by my boss's office and read her my speech. Her smiling face was such an encouragement and when I looked up for my final words there were tears in her eyes. I will never forget that moment.

After giving copies of my speech to the other speakers I was free to go. I floated back to where I worked because one of my boss's had bought flowers for me. Thank you Bridget, you are sooo very sweet! Before leaving I ran into one of my good friends, she and I talked for a while and also did the little "We are DONE" scream.

On my way home I stopped and bought a pair of earrings for graduation....they would go perfect with my outfit. I arrived home and bounced into the house. Daddy was grinning and so was I! I ironed my gown and prepared the last minute things needed. Then I returned the Shelby's house.

By this time there was only 3 1/2 hours left till graduation and so the level of excitement was steadily climbing. We had a brief lunch and then commenced with getting ready. As I curled my hair I reflected back over the last two years. Sure there were many times of misery and sadness, but I believe that the good times far outweighed the bad. I would be leaving this school with a treasure box full of memories and more importantly with some of the best friends a person could EVER have. No, I would not trade those two years for anything. God had been so good!!

Every few minutes I would run downstairs and talk to Shelby. My adrenaline level was through the roof! I laughed as Grant and Andrew proudly showed off their "mirror" shoes. I persuaded them to iron their gowns (they were going to go all wrinkled) and then looked in awe at the amazing job they did at it (way better than my iron job). Even those two boys, who many times pretended not to care, seemed excited.

Shelby and I got into our dresses and then... we put the caps and gowns on. I put my stoles and honors cord around my neck, slipped into my shoes and I was finished. There was no more left to do.

We were ready.

And so, wreathed in smiles we left the house and headed for school (I had to be there a little early). All the way over we talked excitedly and the camera flashed picture after picture. Finally we pulled into the school parking lot. I turned the car off and took a deep breath. Here we were... and it was time. I opened the door, grabbed my stuff and we proceeded to our starting point.

We walked into the building where we were supposed to start and to my great excitement there were graduates! Yay! I don't know why, but I was just so excited to see others dressed like I was. Quietly I slipped into my boss's office and hugged her. Thank you Laine for everything you have done for me! I bought my honors stole and then Shelby and I checked in. We got cards with our names and then I received instructions that all amounted to "Don't get lost, we don't want to come looking for you, stay with Trish, and watch the clock". Hehehe... you would have thought I was a little kid, oh well.

My mom was there, looking very fabulous I might add, and she helped me breathe and helped fix my outfit. We walked out of the preparation room and there were Grant and Andrew. They looked awesome!! I had waited a long time to see them in "dresses" and it was well worth the wait. They honestly didn't look funny like I thought though. I put my lip gloss on for one last time and stood talking and waiting with my 3 "siblings", Ryan, Vanessa, and Wes. It was fun and helped pass the time that seemed to crawl along. All throughout the wait I saw friends... and what fun it was! Everybody looked fabulous in their maroon outfits with the gold cords. Each minute that passed seemed to get better and better. The whole experience so far was 100 times better than I thought.

Finally the head of registration moved all the graduates into a hall. I had to stay behind. I sat down on a bench in the now quiet and spacious main hallway and thought. How many times had I walked these halls with a backpack, and what fond memories I had. These halls had held some of my greatest fears and some of my greatest joys. This hall, normally bustling with activity, was all but deserted and in it's quietness I once again praised my Savior for His many blessings to me. I thought about what would be happening soon. In a few minutes I would be participating in one of the greatest ceremonies of my life.

The faculty came out of their meeting and walked up to Trish (VP for Education Serv.) and she told me where to stand. I stood there and watched as the faculty made two lines behind me and then the students filed into two lines behind them. Everybody was in place. The faculty looked grand in their flowing black robes and colored scarves representing their schools. I smiled, this was a memory. In front of me stood the board of trustees, the president and two vice presidents, all dressed in those black robes. All of them, as well as the faculty had black hats too.

Suddenly, Mike (who was in charge) signalled us and we began to move forward. My heart leaped and I drew in a sharp breath. The time had come....