When God says... wait

June 30th....
Last day of June, almost July, partway through summer, a friend's birthday.

June 30, 2012
June 30, 2013

For the last two years, June 30th was a day of excitement and nerves.  In the afternoon I would roll a suitcase out of the house, kiss my sister goodbye, and get in the car for a drive to the airport.  I would walk onto an airplane bound for Costa Rica - a place near and dear to my heart.  Each summer spent in this beautiful country only made me fall in love with it more.
As a seven year old little girl, I remember thinking of Costa Rica as home.  Going back the last couple years has only deepened that feeling.  Don't get me wrong, I love my home and community in Washington, but Costa Rica is something else. I can barely describe it.  My heart longs to be there... living, serving, crying, laughing... just being.
Last night, I sat on my bed and cried.  Cried for happiness at the memories, cried because I was not there, cried for joy at what God is doing in that country, and cried just because God has said... wait.
I don't know for sure if I will go back permanently, but I hope.  It might be one of those things that God says no to, but it also might be something He says yes to.  Who knows!  I have to be ok with either answer.  I know He knows the desires of my heart, and I pray that no matter I will follow after Him.
Waiting is hard.  It kinda hurts... a lot sometimes.  Especially when you want something so bad.  But that is part of the adventure!!

June 30, 2014
I sit here... in the USA... thankful, trusting, wishing.  My heart is full, hurts a bit, yet rejoices that my God is bigger than anything life can bring.