moments where I felt so confident and other moments when I felt virtually incapable. I think these moments will always go back in forth in life. But I no longer doubt whether I was meant to teach or not.
The last few weeks I have experienced my steepest learning curve yet. I knew beforehand that this would happen, I just didn't have a clue as to how difficult it would be. Everything from curriculum to lesson planning to weekly schedules to accomodating students with disabilities is vastly different and is discussed and referred to with different terminology.
That first day of staff meetings was a blur with my head spinning as I desperately tried to grasp onto something familiar. At times I wondered if they actually spoke English. I felt like a floundering fish with absolutely no idea what I was doing. That only continued to build up during the first couple days of school. Confidence took a nose dive, although I hid it under a layer of humor, smiles, and keeping "busy". I honestly wasn't that busy, in fact, half the time I just sat look at a computer screen wondering what to type.
If you know me and my personality, it tends to be go, go, go.... with very little rest and long lists. That was rather opposite the first week of school. Turtle speed. And that irritated me and frustrated me to the point of tears. The second week was better as I began to adjust and add to my role. Every night I would drag home stacks of textbooks, perusing them, studying terms, looking at lesson plans, and googling more things than I thought possible. (Thank you Lord for Google) I asked questions, played music, analyzed, and worked hard. I said yes to everything, and no to nothing.
This third week was a roller coaster of ups and downs, sucesses, failures, tears, smiles, and yet a settling somehow. The last three weeks have been some of the hardest for me. Being in another country, away from family and friends, no longer a few feet away from professors' advice, and finally doing what I have trained so long to do has been an absolute adventure. Harder than I thought, but ridiculously more rewarding. Some thoughts so far...
1. Saying yes to everything doesn't always make you a better teacher.
In fact it can have quite the opposite results. Learning to take a step back and look at the whole picture and possible outcome is essential.
2. Teaching means nothing if it is not about the students.
They are the reason for teaching. You as the teacher aren't the reason. It isn't about you. It is about guiding them in learning and preparing them for life.
3. You know more than you think and less than you think.
Training and life experiences add up. Being confident that you can handle something because of what you have learned is key. And yet, it is so necessary to ask questions and seek guidance from many people. Teaching is a team thing, not a solo one-man show.
4. There is nothing quite like the sparkle in a student's eye when they understand a concept or successfuly complete a task or turn in a brilliant piece of homework.
Even the little things are worth celebrating. Applaud success, excellence and effort and encourage continuance.
5. If you have, they have fun.
But having fun does not equal no boundaries. On the contrary, setting the boundaries from the start must happen, and even though the first bit may seem miserable, consistency pays off and the end result is well worth it.
6. Even teachers have to stand up for themselves.
Planning and organization are a must. But so is knowing who you are and being real about your capabilities and needs. To remain strong and sane you must be bold, honest, clear and gracious to those around you.
More specifc stories to come.
Cheerio y'a!
